Day 20. I was nicely distracted by family and friends during the holidays, but the lingering reality of Phil not being physically with me never went away.
I have had the great sense of peace that he has been around to comfort me in many ways, as well as keeping up the practical joke and taking my statement about becoming a crazy cat lady for the rest of my life very seriously by sending two new strays to my house: One the night of his funeral and the next one on Christmas Eve, while our friend has been watching the house.
All joking aside, I'm doing as well as I can. I'm ready to be home, I'm my own space, in my own environment, closest to all the things that remind me of him. I miss his warm hugs and our kisses goodnight and good morning, breakfast together, and just being with him.
There are no words to describe the sudden loss of a soul mate to someone who hasn't experienced it. I do know that the almost 21 years I had with him were something I will cherish until my own time comes, and I will always look for the signs he is with me and the kids, and there have been many.