I'd Like to Check You For Ticks
For anyone who does not know much about Missouri, there is a horrible creature here that can ruin a person's day very quickly: The tick. I hadn't even thought about this until today when I realized something very important: My tick-checking person is gone!
Brad Paisley wrote a song about it because it is quite the intimate experience:
"'Cause I'd like to see you out in the moonlight
I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I'd like to check you for ticks."
When you check a person for ticks, it involves combing through all the nooks and crannies, folds and crevices. Ticks give no cares where they go, and sometimes, their favorite sources of nourishing blood are hidden where the host cannot reach...
As a land surveyor, Phil was out in the woods a LOT. It was a regular thing for us to spend an hour after he got home from work in the bathroom extracting all the ticks from his body. Some of them liked to crawl up his pant leg, under his boxer briefs...well, you get the idea. He hated those little jerks the worst!
I spend a lot of time outside so insects are just a part of my everyday life. If I see a tick, I pick it off. Today, while I was at the gym, I had an itch that required me to step into the bathroom to handle, if that gives you an idea. I thought it was taken care of. Nope!
While on the stationary bike, I realized the itch had not gone away. In fact, I recognized what it was and realized my predicament. The tick in question was more than likely in a location that would not be easily accessible to me. And Phil was not around to help. I do not have a tick picker anymore!
This isn't exactly something you call the doctor for, and I am not just going to call up one of my friends and say, "Hey, will you come examine my hoo-ha for ticks and then take off any you find?" Yeah...no.
I'm glad I have increased my flexibility and stamina because it is going to be one hell of a cardio/flexibility workout trying to find this little SOB...
Maybe it's just a tick to some people, but to me, he was the one person I could go to for the most intimate things like picking ticks from precarious places. He was my emergency contact, my 9-1-1 if I had a flat tire or ran out of gas. He was the one I called to bring home a gallon of milk on his way or pick up trash bags. I know it's been almost 9 months, but things like this keep coming up that I'm not prepared for until it's here. At least I know how to deal with it better now.
Sorry about the TMI, but I always said I'd stay honest when writing this blog. This is an everyday thing that I deal with. It is life. It is my #NewNormal