Hello, my family and friends.
I have decided to shut down my blog. I loved writing about my new, unexpected life as a widow and I know there were some who read it to help with their own current or impending situations. I get it. We all want to feel less alone, like someone else understands us even though sometimes, we don't ourselves.
Writing has always been my go-to for anything - good, bad, or ugly. A lot of this past year has been ugly for a lot of us, and there are plenty more people who need our love and support to move past their own struggles and get back to a place where they can feel human again.
These days, when I write my blog, it feels like I'm invading my own privacy. While I love to share what's going on, I also want NOT to share some things, but after a year, letting go of this is necessary in my own healing process. I need to be able to just BE without sharing every little detail. That will allow me to just make the mistakes, bask in victories, and exist without the microscope I feel as though I've put myself under. I want to be able to make my life decisions without sharing everything. I just can't do it anymore.
I do plan to continue to write but most of it will be for my own purposes. I've always been big into journaling (although never consistently!) and will never stop that. It is a huge thing to be able to look back and see how far I've come or how my decisions have affected what is currently happening. On the other hand, it also is a good way to see what hasn't been accomplished and hopefully give me that extra push to try a little harder.
So here it is. My last one. Thank you for allowing me to share with you all and for your support during the most unimaginable event of my life thus far. I encourage you all to begin journaling for your own purp0ses if not just to get out those feelings and emotions so they aren't bottled up. We all need an outlet, and if there are things you just don't want to tell anyone, write them down and keep them hidden. Read over them again and again to help understand yourself better.
I love you all. Thank you again for your continued support. I will always love Phil and cherish the almost 21 years' worth of memories we created, but he is gone, and I'll be okay.